Breaking Free from the “All or Nothing” Mindset

“Okay, so tomorrow I’m going to wake up at 6 a.m. and work out for about an hour. Afterwards, I’m going to make myself some avocado toast, clean my room, shower, and get ready for work. After that, I’ll write my to-do list and get everything done!”

These were the confident words of a younger (by eight hours) and more naïve version of myself. I was feeling great—motivated even—like I could accomplish anything… at night. I went to sleep excited, fully convinced that I was going to conquer the entire day ahead.

The Reality Check

Fast forward to the morning: I’m so excited to tell you all that I did none of the things I said I would do.

I woke up around 7 a.m., got myself ready for work, and that was pretty much it. I did manage to make my to-do list—and that was the only thing I checked off.

Sound Familiar?

Maybe not everyone can relate, but I personally struggle with an “all or nothing” mindset.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. I create an idealized version of myself in my head, packed with unrealistic expectations. And when I can’t meet those expectations, I quit. I throw my hands in the air and toss the entire day away.

Rather than thinking, “Maybe I can just focus on a few things I can control,” I beat myself up for not becoming a version of myself I never actually prepared to be.

What I’m Learning

Here’s the truth I’m discovering: To become the person you want to be, you have to make it digestible.

So, What Does That Mean?

I’m so glad you asked.

Almost everything we do in life requires small steps:

• Eating a meal? You take bites.

• Getting dressed? One article of clothing at a time.

• Learning a skill? One lesson at a time.

Everything is a process—and the process leads to progress.

But we often want to skip ahead. We love the idea of cutting down the process time. The problem is: when we cut the process, we also cut the quality.

The Trap of False Pride

The “all or nothing” mindset is rooted in false pride.

I believed that if I couldn’t do everything, I might as well do nothing.

But here’s the thing: if nothing gets done, then nothing gets done.

It’s a loop. A frustrating, self-created infinity loop of being stuck.

Getting Honest with Myself

To break the cycle, I had to sit down and be real about my struggles:

• I’m inconsistent.

• I overreach and overextend my expectations.

• I’m often unprepared.

• I don’t pour into myself enough.

Small Shifts, Big Difference

I’m still learning, still growing, and still shifting away from that “all or nothing” mentality.

But now, instead of trying to do everything all at once, I’m focusing on small, intentional actions. I’m making little changes that make a big difference.

And that, to me, feels more like real growth than any perfect to-do list ever could.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like you failed, the day because you didn’t meet your own expectations—you’re not alone. You don’t have to be perfect to make progress. Start small. Be honest. Show up. That’s enough.